Monday, February 9, 2009

Emotional Casserollercoaster

Tater Tot Casserole, Corn Casserole, Chocolate Casserole, Black Bean Enchilada Casserole,
carrots (not a casserole), pan full of ice and PBR


"A casserole, from the French for "saucepan," is a large, deep pot or dish used both in the oven and as a serving dish. The word casserole is also used for the food cooked and served in such a dish."

-Wikipedia.com


"casserole

1. food cooked and served in a casserole"

-Dictionary.com

My comfort foods are anything baked. Pizza, cookies, cakes, fake chicken patties, tater tots, and casseroles. Given the above definitions of casseroles from respected sources (isn't everything on the internet TRUE?), I would say that this all-encompassing dish was created by Jesus just for me. You don't need to know what you're doing to make a casserole. According to the dictionary.com, all you really need is the right dish, which I have TWO of.

Growing up in the midwest, I ate my fair share of casseroles. Tuna casseroles, hamburger casseroles, green bean casseroles, scalloped potato casseroles... Up until this point I was operating under the false assumption that a casserole MUST contain one of the following ingredients: 1. cream of mushroom soup, 2. copious amounts of eggs, 3. absurd amounts of butter or Crisco, 4. peas, 5. Durkee french fried onions, 6. ungodly amounts of cheese. Turns out none of these things are required! All a woman really needs is the trusty Pyrex dish with lid and an oven.

Which has led me to a new and disturbing level of comfort food consumption. Rachel Ray would turn over in her grave (if she was dead, which many people I know wish was true) if she saw the kind of things I was doing with my Pyrex. I make casserole brownies, casserole lasagna, chocolate casserole, apple crisp casserole, pizza casserole... My head could potentially explode with the sheer infinity of casserole possibilities.

Your choice: Either stick your head in, or a Pyrex

And life has been hard these days. All I want are baked goods. As the pieces of my life fall back into place, or don't, I retreat to my kitchen and bake a casserole. And then I eat it, while watching the last four seasons of LOST in their entirety. A fabulous gal can pack on the pounds this way if she's not careful, so I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and focused on getting out of the house.

So I've been seeing friends, working out, riding my bike, eating salads. It was all coming together.

Until I crashed.

On Thursday, I lost control of my sexy new bike and crashed at an intersection, landing on my head and neck, smashing my helmet and painting the left side of my body in burnt sienna road rash. When I woke up laying in the street, my first thought was, "my neck should not be bent this way." I must have looked really cute when I crashed, though, because suddenly everyone wanted to be my friend. One kind woman asked, "What are you going to do now?" and I said, "Walk home." The only problem was that I didn't know where I lived, where I was, where I had been coming from, and I couldn't read. Then I saw my helmet, all crunched up, and started to cry. I was scared. My brain was hurt. That nice lady drove me right to the emergency room.

Hospital. Forms that I couldn't read. CAT scans. Valium. Vicodin. A weekend erased from my memory.

And then I broke up with my boyfriend. Nope, it didn't work out.

Bags, tears

And now I'm home alone with a head injury, splitting my time evenly between sleeping, crying, and forgetting what I said five minutes ago. I have been independent, traveling the country for months, but this woman needs someone to take care of her now. I need help. Someone to bake me casseroles, walk Ralgh, do my laundry, and just plain old BE HERE while I cry and sleep.

I've said it before (I think, but I'm not sure because I can't remember anything these days), but reentry is the hardest part of my Vantasy. Worth it? I'll let you know after I bake and eat an entire casserole of brownie casserole.

Whine.




6 comments:

Trina said...

Well, on the plus side, making me get up off the couch and walk around outside tonight was the best thing you could have done for both of us. I feel a million times better, I think I may even go to work tomorrow! I may not have the energy after that to come bake you a casserole, but maybe I can come over and watch you sleep (or cry). I think I may just beat this awful cold/plague after all.

I bet you were the cutest thing ever when you crashed. Cute crasher, that's you!

Rachel Tamed said...

I think I should make you a casserole...and then load it into a straw and well...put it somewhere :)

I think as long as we turn our crap into entertainment for our blog readers, we must be learning. Or something close to it. I still think our PBR safety blankey idea is gold.

Jeanie said...

Wish I was there to help you, sweetpea! But you do NOT want to eat anything that I've baked/fried/burned/beat into submission. hope you feel better soon! XOXOXOXO

LiveWorkDream said...

Eva, I'm soooo sorry. I know how much it hurts when skin and bones meets concrete. Hope you feel better soon.

And yes, from what I've heard, you're right; re-entry is the absolute hardest. That's why we are avoiding it at all costs.

rach said...

Oh my, babe. Take care of your noggin! Hope you feel better soon. I like this casserole, especially cuz the words "drunk" and "cheesy" are in the title:

Drunken Cheesy Bread

butter for casserole dish
Some old, stale bread (baguettes work great)
1/2 onion
little bit of fake ham (opt)
3/4 cup white wine
salt/pepper/chili flakes/garlic
1 1/2 cups of melty cheese (gruyere is yummy)

Heat oven to 400. Butter dish and lay bread around. Scatter onion and non-meat over top. Pour wine over the whole thing and sprinkle with spice. Cover everything with cheese. Bake until cheese is melted and brown (about 20 mins). Eat out of dish with spoon while drinking the rest of the wine.

Hugs,
rach

kacey said...

Eva! I've caught the casserole bug. i just made that drunken cheesy mess! i added truffle oil on top after i took it out of the oven. AH-MAZING.